Sleeping with the Lights Off
Overcoming demons - some, quite literal
Last night I slept with the lights off in the bedroom for the first time since September. With this act came a feeling of freedom, growth and healing. I had no idea as the month of August came to a close that my inner world was about to crumble.
You may have noticed a pause in my work and online presence. The last three months have been some of the most intense, challenging and transformative of my life. I have been through many struggles, more than one Dark Night of the Soul and have endured situations that dropped me far outside my comfort zone. And yet, nothing in my experience was ever quite like this.
As the summer started to cycle into the fall, James and I packed up our apartment and moved into a new home just a few blocks away. This house popped up at a time we had stopped looking - the perfect place for us, when we least expected it. Our proverbial dream house.
Initially, we pushed through typical moving hurdles that quickly turned into not so typical hurdles. Many things were breaking down at the house from the moment we moved in. It was okay, though. The house is old so it was expected, just not all at once.
* Now this next part … if you are reading my blog then chances are you know me, my work and who I am so what I am about to share won’t sound so outlandish. If you are new to me, I am a medium whose work and life dances between this world and the spirit world. *
The first few nights we slept here felt creepy, but we chalked it up to us being unfamiliar with our new house. With all of the sudden repairs being needed (such as a broken water heater) we spent many nights at a hotel in the beginning.
As we spent more time preparing the home, I started to notice that we were definitely not alone. A very tall, dark being would stand behind me and startle me every time I turned around. Quickly it would vanish from my physical vision but it started to come very closely into my energy field on a more frequent basis.
I noticed other beings in the house, and they were not … pretty. One would run by on all fours in a flash, a swirl of brown and black running from the living room to the dining room. Others would present as black shadows swirling around the rooms. When they would appear to me psychically so I could see them they were downright terrifying.
And that tall being … that being started paying more and more attention to me. I was never alone in this house, not even in the shower. And the energy that was being put upon me was so intense and so awful that it would make me sick to my stomach.
The best way to describe the status of the house spiritually would be “demonic infestation.” Everything here operated under that one being. The entity’s den was in the basement and the main rooms it and other beings liked to hang out in were our bedroom, the master bath and the guest room.
Once they realized I wasn’t going anywhere, everything escalated. What ensued became sleepless months of being physically, psychically, energetically and mentally attacked by these beings, especially the large one. This towering, ancient demon was an almost equal match in both power and energy and we would come at each other with fire. I learned later that this approach only made the situation worse. I endured a lot of trial and error, which then sprang newfound insights and awareness.
The experience was extremely traumatic. Nighttime was the worst. They would climb onto the bed and hold me down, keep me up at night saying horrible things in my ears, clawing at my crown and violating every boundary I had. The being would stand at the foot of the bed, in the dark, waiting for me to take notice. A lot happened to me between September and now.
I am incredibly fortunate and grateful to have had some amazing help with this situation. Some people would step up in the most selfless ways. With the help of some truly gifted people I was able to work through this challenge from the top down. The entities in this house would visit and attack the friends who helped me after each initial meetup in their sleep. My close friend was told to “stay away.” The situation had me feeling out of my power and my gifts muted, disconnected. It was such a struggle to tap in and do this work, but I did it.
As each layer of entity clearing took place, so did layers of clearing and healing on me on an internal level. Buried traumas resurfaced to be examined and in one instance, something so terrible that happened as a child came rushing in when my spirit team felt the time was right for me to remember. Going in deeper with my shadow work and playing in the dark is something my ancestors kept hinting at, and now the time was upon me to dive in more than I ever had before. I had to process and move through so much pain, grief, fear, anger and sorrow at the same time that I was working to remove each entity from my home.
This home, our home, was meant to be. It was always “our home.” While the entities were here long ago, the tall one being an ancient demon of the land, they were also waiting here by design. The house was waiting to be freed, to be cleared. There was work to be done to earn this home, and that work has been done now.
The initiation process that I went through was intense and traumatic. For months I had to be extremely diligent with my energetic protection. My head was almost always covered with a scarf that I had blessed with holy and Florida waters, a cross never left my neck and a bible sat atop my pillow each night. That is not even the tip of the protection iceberg. It is only now that I am slowly beginning to ease up and fall into the softness of this experience. Hence, finally feeling safe enough to sleep with the light off.
Now, this story is much more layered, involved and detailed but this is all I feel compelled to share for now. I have so much gratitude to the friends who stood by my side through this journey. Thank you. I also have a line of beings, spirits and entities waiting for me to take down my energetic “under construction” sign so I can support them in their ways to find peace and move on.
So here I am. As I slowly come back “online” with my personal healing, my gifts and my online presence I will start to present more offerings for everyone. Forcing content doesn’t feel good to me, and as I continue to navigate the unfolding of my next adventurous chapter I will share as organically as I can.
Thank you for being here for the ride. It has been wild and I am grateful for all of it. I see the ways I am shifting and expanding, not just on a personal level but with my gifts and abilities. What comes next is so exciting!
My books are open again for sessions and pretty soon I will be offering my annual year ahead readings for the new year. As the holidays are in full swing, please use this code HOLIDAY to take 20% off your next session.
Many blessings to you,
Dawn